I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
