You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
