ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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