Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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