butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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