Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
