Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
