My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
