it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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