So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
