oh god the rape fog is back!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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