never play flip cup with pint glasses
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
