Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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