this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
