My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
