Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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