Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
