I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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