shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
