she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
