Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
