I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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