you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
