you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
