Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
