This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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