The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If that was your dad, he is hot
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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