You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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