Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My vagina just recognized that song.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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