he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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