I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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