I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
