I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
