I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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