grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
