Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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