I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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