Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
