Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
