I want to stick my p in your. b.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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