sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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