guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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