if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
