it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
