theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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