The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
