isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
