you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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