I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
