her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
