Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
