I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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