Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Your cock deserves a montage
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
